Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize