dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize