I wannas sexs uuuuu
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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