More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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