need another drink. this is the easiest way
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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