We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize