I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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