thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize