My nipple is on Facebook.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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