I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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