A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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