Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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