I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
be right there i have to get my cape
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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