Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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