Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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