Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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