I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize