i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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