Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
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This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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