Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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