dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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