C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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