a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize