What did we do last night that was yellow?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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