none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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