yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize