i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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