Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize