the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize