I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
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masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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