Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize