Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize