They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize