Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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