So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He did a backflip because drugs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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