If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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