i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize