did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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