I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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