We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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