Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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