She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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