I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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