when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize