He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize