Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize