What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize