Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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