fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize