I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize