it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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