I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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